ISOLATION OR RELATIONSHIPS?
Rev. Barry W. Szymanski, J.D.
Minister of Pastoral Care
First Congregational Church of Wauwatosa
1 July 2012

We do not live isolated lives; we are social people. We affect others as we live our lives – We are formed in our relationships with others. For example, in just one area of our lives, care, we experience care, from our first contacts with our parents. As you and I grew from toddlers in play groups to kindergarten we hopefully learned to 'play well with others'.

During high school our independence grew; and we practiced our social skills. As young adults we became immersed in life's responsibilities – because others depended on us.

As we maturedwe learned how to be a friend. During our life some acquaintances become close friends. What we learned is that the more intimate the friend, the more we share with that person. We discovered that when we disclose ourselves to our friends, we learn more about ourselves!

To a very young person this may appear to be a paradox, because a person would not expect to gain insight about themselves by revealing their inner-selves to another. Yet it is through relationships that we grow. Loving friends remain devoted to us over the years and hold many of our cherished secrets. During our close friendships we have trusted them. In our comfort with our intimate friends we can truly be ourselves.

From infancy on through life, God offers us life lessons. We realize what it means to be cared for so we can care for others. We learn from the responsibilities by our parents, and teachers what it means to be responsible so we can be responsible for others. We learn when we have trusted parents and teachers what it means to have faith in people so we can be trustworthy to others. That faith leads us to be able to trust God – and believe in God.

In life we become conscious that when our expectations in others are met we have actualized hope. We can then provide the anticipation of confidence to others. And, then we ourselves will hope in God’s promises. As we mature our awareness that God desires friendship with us. What helps us form a relationship with the divine is built upon what we have learned through our associations with our families, our close friends, our acquaintances, and even those who dislike us.

As our spiritual consciousness increases we begin to realize that God is an essential to who we really are. We start to appreciate that God has given us life. We begin to grasp that God is our ultimate end. We begin to comprehend what it means to truly be a child of God.

Each of our understandings gained in life is a building block. Each is placed one on top of another so we can build our relationship with God. Just as all relationships 'start small' and are nurtured as more energy and trust is put into the relationship, our prayer life intensifies from simply asking God for things, to praying for people, to thanking God, to ultimately, simply being with God.

This ULTIMATE is to 'just sit in God's presence. This is the same essential ‘being with’ that we have with our closest friends: the ability to purely be with the friend – talking is not necessary. This is what it is like to look at a sunset with a loved one – no words are shared – but the feeling of love surrounds each person.

This is what it means to ‘just sit’ in God's presence. What we learn through trust and faith in others helps us to grow in trust and faith in God. What we have experienced by being loved by others substantiates God's love for us. When we are assured that we can rely upon others, we are able to extend that confidence into hope in the promises Jesus has made.

Does this work for everybody? Not necessarily. We live in an imperfect world. Some infants are abused and they carry those scars with them for life. Many people are betrayed by those who claim they love them. Countless individuals are # emotionally, and even physically, battered by their life-partners or spouses, or parents. Because of our past history, we may not be able to trust another individual. For many of our own reasons we may not want to reveal who we are to another person.

For over a thousand years theologians stated that all of this is the result of a concept labeled Original Sin. Simply put, that concept, however termed, is our human condition. Yet we know we share in God's grace. God's love is freely given to us and, once we have a reservoir of grace, we are to generously pass it on to others. We are not isolated individuals. We share in each other’s lives. This was clearly shown in all of the readings today. The Psalmist ‘cries out of the depths of his soul to God.’ Paul tells the members of the church in Corinth to excel in their faith – and in their communication – their speech to others. In the Gospel Jesus was surrounded by a large crowd. A leader of the synagogue came to him in prayer about his daughter. Not in one of the readings was a person in isolation from another.

John Donne, the poet, wrote:

"No man is an island, entire of itself;
every man is a piece of the continent,
a part of the main".

More contemporary, Joan Baez sang these lyrics:
"No man is an island,
No man stands alone,
Each man's joy is joy to me,
Each man's grief is my own."

I have learned that John Donne’s poem was also the basis for lyrics by such musical groups as diverse as Jack's Mannequin, Joan Whitney and Alex Kramer, The Lettermen, and Dennis Brown. So the statement that we are not islands is not new. It is a truism written and sung about for decades.

God created us to be in healthy relationships with each other and that we learn from those relationships. God created us to be in union with him and not to be separated from Him or from anyone else.

Suggested Scripture Readings:
Mark 5:21-43
Psalm 130
2 Corinthians 8:7-15